Red. Perhaps you’ve heard this Gnomish Tale before? There once was a
wolf who stumbled upon a warm cozy bed in a warm house located in the
cold winter woods. Of course, any cold soul would take the
opportunity to climb right in and snuggle up, night gown, cap and all!
Meanwhile, one cold and dreary season Little Red’s Grandmother got a
case of the sniffles so she packed up her basket full of warm cookies
and other tasty treats to help her Grandmother feel a bit more warm
and fuzzy inside. Upon entering her Grandma’s bedroom, she saw a wolf
where her Grandmother should have been lying in bed! Was she afraid?
Of course gnot! Little Red was brave, but curious. What did the wolf
think he was doing? The clever little lass decided to find out. ”My
what big eyes you have Grandma!” and the wolf replied “All the better
to see you with, my dear.” Little Red continued, “My what big ears
you have!” and the wolf said “All the better to hear you with.” And
finally, “My what big teeth you have, Grandma” to which the wolf
responded “All the better to eat your cookies with!” Wait… what?
Is that not how you heard the story? Obviously the original version
has been lost in translation somewhere. After all, there is gnothing
better than eating freshly baked cookies with gnew friends.